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If Bloomberg Asked Me For Help

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Michael Bloomberg has never asked me for help. 

Nor should he, because I might play the part of a saboteur. 

But if he were to ask me for advice, and if I actually wanted to help him, this is how it might go. 

Bloomberg: I've repented of my former support of a racist stop-and-frisk policy. I'm running for the Dem nomination for POTUS. Now this inconvenient tape has shown up, of the way I was unreservedly devoted to that policy, fairly recently, and it has thrown the reality of my repentance into question for voters whose sympathetic attention I need. What can I do?

Faille: Okay. The Dem base still loves the fact that you're anti-gun, right?

Bloomberg: Have you been paying attention at all? I'm asking about stop and frisk.

Faille: The two are not unrelated. A vigorous urban gun control policy can't be pursued if every coat pocket is considered sacrosanct. 

Bloomberg. Hmmmm. You've got a point there. But ... racism. The numbers.

Faille: Yes, and you have already apologized. You can hardly go back on that.

Bloomberg. You are no help at all.

Faille: I hope not. But the point is this. Here's your speech. "Yes, I did believe in stop-and-frisk and I still do. We need police officers to be able to stop and frisk, and then we need for them to be able to confiscate the guns they find. After all: isn't that better than invading the sanctuary of homes for the same purpose? What I apologized for -- or would have apologized for if I had had my wits about me -- is precisely the disparate racial impact of the policy, to which I was glaringly insensitive as Mayor.
I should have insisted the police stop and frisk as many white people per capita as black."

Bloomberg. That's an insane speech and you continue to be of no help at all.

Faille: Thanks. 

Comments

  1. The problem with Bloomberg's stop-and-frisk policy wasn't its disparate racial impact. It was its deliberate racial profiling. In the tape, he said, “You can just take a description, Xerox it, and pass it out to all the cops. They are male, minorities, 16 to 25. That’s true in New York, that’s true in virtually every city.”

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