Suppose I say to you, dear reader: "I have a hot tip. Onion futures! If you invest a modest sum of money with me, I will invest it in futures. "You'll really like dem onions. I have a solid inside source at the exchange." If I ever say this to you, then 'I' have gone over to the dark side. RUN. There is no such thing as an onion future on ANY exchange in the US or in Europe or, so far as I know, anywhere on the globe. The US has the distinction of having an act of Congress on the books saying that onions are not to be subject to futures trades. The Onion Futures Act was created at the insistence, back on the 1950s, of one Representative Gerald Ford of Michigan. His district was the epicenter of US onion growing, and he decided early on in his career that futures speculation in the crop was inherently crooked. Ford had standard mid-20th-century laissez-faire opinions on a lot of subjects, but futures trading in onions: N...