Jamesian Philosophy Refreshed

  An alien recently landed his UFO in Vatican City. Pope Leo went out to meet him personally.  Leo, "I just want to know one thing.  Does your world know Jesus Christ as Savior?"  Alien, "Oh, yes.  He visits us about once every seven years.  We throw a big party when he arrives, then he preaches and heals amongst us. When Jesus has decided it is time to leave, our leaders declare a national holiday and there is a big send-off parade. We tell him we look forward to the next visit" Leo, "Really?  He only visited this planet once, more than two thousand years ago."  Alien, "Hmmm.  Did you give him a nice send-off?" 

I'll just give the joke as I remember of it and will skip explanation of how it came up.  St Thomas Aquinas walked into a bar and ordered a lot of mead.  The bartender said, "You really plan to drink all that? You have problems?" Because in jokes bartenders are always eager to hear your problems. Aquinas said: "Yes, I just lost my manuscript. An important one, too. I called it the SUMMA THEOLOGICA. It was going to be the definitive explanation of Catholic philosophy, incorporating Aristotle's insights into the body of faith. It was brilliant. I was inspired by God to write it."  Bartender says, "And now it's gone?" Aquinas, "Yes, and I can't help but wonder what message God is trying to send me. Why would he inspire me to write a great work like this and then let me lose it???"  Bartender, "Maybe he was just trying to say, 'You win Summa, you lose Summa.'"